感恩的時節
把水杯填滿
2018年1月25日
上周二，大學的大家庭痛失一位成員。
想著一個年輕生命遽然而逝，我難以安寢，重讀一位英國牛津的牧師Henry Scott Holland（ 1847–1918 ） 的一篇詩文，他這樣形容死亡：
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
讀到此處，想起已故的至愛雙親，不禁鼻頭一酸。中學時唸過朱自清《背影》裏描寫的父子情懷及語句，又彷彿浮現眼前。我們永遠無法全然感受別人失去至親的傷痛。否定、抑壓、自責、憤怒，甚至埋怨、無助，最後步過及克服哀傷是一個艱難的過程。生死兩相安，談何容易。
事件發生後，我立即聯絡及會見相關的同事，一方面希望給予過世同學的親友最大的支援，同時亦想想往後可以做的工作。大學在兩年前成立了學生精神健康及支援專責委員會，以檢討及加強大學的輔導工作及精神健康支援的措施，集思廣益後提出了多項建議並已逐步落實。現今社會環境複雜多變，同學的成長亦受多方因素影響 。大學絕對不會鬆懈，將持續檢視，力求完善。我初步的想法與計劃是希望在課內課外加強同學的解難能力及正向心理，讓同學在繁重的課業及緊湊的課外活動中，留有澄明思考的空間，能夠習慣看到事情或問題的多面，因而在面對自身的困難時，可以耐心去尋找有效的解決方法，不致掉進死胡同。
我曾經在書店看到一幅簡單卻蠻有意思的海報：
杯子半空還是半滿的道理，我們都明白。但凡事不只有一面或兩面，我們可以更進一步，把事態扭轉—我們可以把水填滿，甚或可以把水全都倒了再重新注入。當時間和逆境拖著我們走時，我們更要把主導權奪回來，成為生命的主人。
在大學裏，別忘記我們就如家人，多互相扶持、關心和聆聽，定必可以克服困難。
